Disappear, But Not Alone
by Port-of-Seas
Summary: Missing scene from Deathly Hallows. In the aftermath of the final battle, Harry has to get away from it all, but he won't be alone. Harry/Ginny


A/N: Just a scene I thought was missing from DH.

Disclaimer: Don't own 'em. What'd you think I was gonna say?

Disappear, But Not Alone

Harry awoke quite suddenly to find bright sunlight streaming through the scarlet-draped windows. Around him, Neville, Dean, and Seamus had collapsed into their beds, sleeping on their grief and triumph in wake of the previous night's ordeals. Ron was gone, probably downstairs with Hermione or his parents, tending to Fred's body.

Fred… Blimey, what was George going to do without his faithful brother at his side? There would be no more 'twins' nor their mad escapades. Only George, Holey George and his joke shop. Harry rolled over and, feeling as though a heavy stone had been set upon his chest, groped for his glasses.

The bed squeaked, and at once Harry was aware that someone was seated at the far end of his bed. Harry shoved his glasses on, prepared to tell Kreacher that he had had plenty of sandwiches, thanks, only to discover that he was alone.

Puzzled, Harry glanced around. Then, he noticed that Peverell's invisibility cloak, the third Hallow, was not carelessly draped at the foot of his four poster where he had left it before dropping into sweet sleep in the early hours of the morning. Had some death eater escaped and snuck into the tower, seeking vengeance for their fallen lord?

"Who's there," he growled, seizing his wand and pointing it in the direction of the weight.

"Harry, it's me," a thin voice breathed. Harry sighed in relief, dropping his wand arm as Ginny pulled off the cloak. Her face was red and puffy, eyes still wet from the countless tears she had already shed. "Sorry I took the cloak. I just sort of wanted to disappear for a bit, but I didn't want to be alone, you know?"

"Ginny," Harry said, hastily returning his wand to his bed stand and scooting closer to her. His hand twitched, aching to touch hers, but he couldn't be certain how welcome the contact would be at that moment. In fact, he had no idea where they stood right now. Knowing Ginny, she would be angry that he had tried to force her to safety and hurt that they had been apart so long, while at the same time elated he had won but crushed by the deaths of Fred, Lupin, Tonks, and Colin, who had been in her grade. There were probably far more emotions besides those that Hermione would be far better suited to sort out than he. Awkwardly, he settled for, "You're not in bed."

Ginny glanced at him, raising one eyebrow.

"Should I be?"

"What I mean is," Harry said, fishing around for the right thing to say. "You aren't resting or with your family or anything. I mean, you're _here_."

Ginny snorted, shaking her head. Harry watched in amazement as several shining red hairs slipped from her messy plait, wishing to reach out and take it in his hands. If the world had seemed beautiful the night before, it was nothing to what he saw right now.

"Don't be stupid, Harry," she insisted, twisting her fingers in her lap. "I haven't been able to sleep all day. And it's not like I don't want to be with them, but I sort of need to be away from all of them right now. And anyway, Mom and Dad are talking to McGonagall, George is with Percy, Bill is with Fleur, Ron's with Hermione, Charlie's gone down to Hagrid's. There was nowhere else I really thought to go, so I came here."

Harry swallowed, feeling as though he'd had Mad-Eye's Tongue Tying curse placed upon him again. Ginny sat awkwardly, now scuffing the heels of her sneakers against the floor, her face unreadable. For a moment, Harry feared she might start crying again. Of course, she had every right to, and he might stand a better chance at comforting her than he ever had Cho, but more than anything he didn't want to see her so upset again. After a moment or so, punctuated only by Neville's gentle snoring, Ginny glanced up at him, her face calm and composed.

"Harry, I want you to explain everything to me," she said firmly. "I mean, You-Know-Who's dead and you did what Dumbledore wanted, didn't you? So you don't have to keep it a secret anymore, do you?"

"I suppose I don't," Harry said, suddenly realizing how true it was. Voldemort was dead. Gone, this time for good. He no longer had to fear his scar hurting or his friends dying for sport. He didn't have to keep Dumbledore's secrets anymore, either, as secrecy was no longer such an issue. Especially concerning Ginny, who had already had her own brushes with dark magic and understood the dangers. "Well, it's going to take a lot of explaining, Ginny. Maybe all the rest of the day. What time is it?"

"Four o'clock, but there's bound to be food in the Great Hall. I know Dobby's gone and all, but Kreacher's looking after Winky so she won't get in the other elves' way." She paused suddenly and pulled an odd sort of face. "He's different, Harry. I mean, Kreacher's actually sort of pleasant now."

"He just needed a bit of affection is all," Harry chuckled, trapping her expression in his mind forever. "Hermione was right about that much. You should see 12 Grimmauld Place. It's incredible."

They headed down to the Great Hall, Ginny shyly tucking the invisibility cloak in her pocket ("I just sort of want to have the option of putting it on"). After ducking between tearful teachers and Order members who seemed to want to begin their praise anew, Harry and Ginny hurried out onto the grounds with several pieces of toast, some bacon, and an apple between the two of them. They didn't speak as they wandered down to the lake. Harry took the time to gaze about the grounds in appreciation. Great trenches had been ground up by the fighting giants, and scorch marks littered the grass near a new assortment of magical plants that Peeves and Professor Sprout had used as weapons. Even so, the way the sun shone high in the sky, the glittering of the lake beneath it, the vitality of every tree or sprig of grass around him was absolutely breathtaking.

"Lavender's been torn up really bad," she said as they sat down at the foot of a tree. "But Madame Pomfrey's looking after her. She's supposed to be in about the same situation as Bill, though."

"Guess she'll have to marry a French guy then, huh?" Harry said. Ginny chuckled and took a bite of toast, staring out over the lake.

"Maybe one of those Beauxbatons boys we all know she liked so much."

This time Harry laughed, leaning against the tree. The bark was rough and hard, but he couldn't feel anything but relief that he was alive to feel it at all. So many had died, but hopefully they were at peace like Lupin, Sirius, and his parents. Others, like Lavender, were still alive to feel days like this, just as he did.

At a length, Ginny spoke again.

"You called him Tom, Harry."

"Yeah, I did," he replied, puzzled. "That was his name, remember?"

"I know," Ginny assured him. "It's just that I never really could see You-Know-" she paused, catching sight of Harry's bewildered expression. "I mean, Voldemort - it's so odd saying that name without fear of the Taboo now. Anyway, I never really could see Tom Riddle in him until last night when you called him by his name. It was weird."

"It was just the right thing to call him at the time," Harry said, fingering the apple in his hands. He was starving, he knew that much. He ought to have been starving, but he couldn't quite bring himself to eat. The memories of last night were vivid in his mind, each one clambering for his attention. He was having trouble deciding what Ginny already knew and what she didn't. Impatiently, Ginny gave him a little nudge.

"Harry, I want to know everything."

"Right," he said. "Listen, do you mind if I tell it from the beginning? Voldemort's past and all? I don't think I could tell it any other way, really."

"Go on," Ginny said. "Everything."

So Harry told her everything. Many parts she knew, and she nodded in understanding. He explained about the Horcruxes and how the diary had been one, how Riddle had come to acquire the others through so many other dark methods, and what had happened to him, Ron, and Hermione after the disastrous wedding reception. He told her about Lupin's cold feet, Umbridge's handling of the ministry ("That horrid old toad!"), Ron's departure ("I'm gonna hit him when I see him again!"), Godric's Hollow, the patronus and the sword, glossing over, of course, what the Patronus showed him. By the time he had begun explaining the Hallows, Ginny was very close, her fingers brushing his, their breakfast thrown out to the giant squid. His heart fluttered in his chest as eagerly as it had the night before, as though afraid if it slowed down he might never be near Ginny again.

By the time he had come to explain all that Aberforth had told him, however, Ginny's interest in the story had turned to abhorrence.

"But how could Aberforth say such things about his own brother?" Ginny gasped. "I mean, he certainly didn't mean for it to happen, and you said yourself that by the lake, with the locket, Dumbledore was sorry about it. Even Ron wouldn't have been that harsh with Percy."

"Aberforth loved Ariana, though," Harry reminded her. "His sister was his world. It would be better if he forgave Dumbledore, but we really can't expect him to."

"I'll bet he's just wanting to play on that awful Skeeter woman's book!" Ginny said indignantly, but Harry squeezed her hand.

"Rita Skeeter told a lot of lies, but I'm pretty sure everything Aberforth said was true."

"But how can you know?" she asked.

"Because Dumbledore told me."

"How-"

"I'm not quite there yet. Be patient."

He told her about searching for the Lost Diadem, glossing again over Hermione's reaction to Ron's kindness toward House Elves, the fight in the Room of Requirement, and the death he had witnessed in the Shrieking Shack. He half expected Ginny to exclaim that Snape had deserved what he got, but she sat staring pensively at him. Harry had to glance away from her brown eyes, forcing himself to go on lest he be caught up in those warm depths.

"Voldemort just sort of left, and I don't know why but I went up to Snape," Harry said softly. "There was a lot of blood and not really any hope. And then he gave me memories, a whole load of them. And with his last breath he told me to look at him. He wanted to see my eyes, but I don't think it was _me _he wanted to see."

"But everyone says…" Ginny trailed off uncertainly. Harry squeezed her hand and nodded in encouragement.

"Yeah. They're my mum's. I think he wanted me to know that he loved her. It turns out that he and my mum were really good friends when they were kids. My aunt Petunia was jealous of my mum being a witch, so my mum ended up spending less time with her and more time with Snape. She really cared about him, since they knew each other before school. He fancied her, maybe even loved her when he got older. But they split up because he was hanging out with a lot of dark wizards and was really nasty toward her one day in front of a lot of people. He never once protected me because of my father saving his life, and I don't think he ever really thought me dad actually saved his life. It was always because I was Lily's son.

"He came to our side because he wanted Dumbledore to protect me and my parents. He didn't think Voldemort would spare her." He paused, deciding not to mention the contempt he had heard in Dumbledore's voice. He was already dwelling a little longer on this than he had anticipated, and that would only take longer to justify. "The night they died-" he paused, swallowing as his voice cracked. Ginny squeezed his hand.

"Go on Harry, tell me," she pleaded gently, and Harry became suddenly aware that she might have wanted him to talk for more than her own comfort.

"The night they died," he continued, steadying his voice. "He seemed to break. He told Dumbledore he wanted to die, and Dumbledore told him that if he really loved my mum, he would help look after me when I came to Hogwarts. In turn, Snape demanded that Dumbledore never tell me the reason why."

"But love is nothing to be ashamed of," Ginny insisted.

"It is when it's his worst enemy's son," Harry said. "He hated me because I looked so much like my dad. But all the time I was here, he was doing exactly as Dumbledore said. Even killing Dumbledore was on Dumbledore's own orders. Dumbledore had put on the Death Stone unwisely, and he was cursed. It's why his hand was all withered. He was dying all year. He had Snape kill him so he could gain Voldemort's trust, so Malfoy wouldn't be forced to do it, and so he would die with a bit of dignity. Snape didn't want to, but after the Unbreakable vow he didn't have much of a choice."

"I don't get it," Ginny interjected, probably feeling that asking questions might make the story easier for Harry to tell. "Snape was dying. Why would he go to this trouble to give you all these memories, especially if he didn't want you to know he loved your mum."

"Maybe he had a change of heart," Harry suggested. "Or maybe he didn't mean to at all. There was one memory I was supposed to see. He was taking orders from Dumbledore's portrait all year. Everything, right down to attacking George-the ear was an accident, by the way-he did it because the portrait told him to keep up his front. He was told that, if Voldemort started protecting Nagini, he needed to let me know that I was the last Horcrux, and I would have to die to stop him."

Ginny let out a squeaky gasp and clenched Harry's hand so hard he had to pry her fingers off his own.

"It's all right, remember?" he said hurriedly, patting her hand. "I'm alive. But I did sneak out into the forest, and Voldemort did kill me."

"Harry," she breathed, her other hand over her mouth.

"Let me finish," Harry said quickly, afraid she might start crying if he didn't soon. "So he did kill me, but so long as he was alive, I was. It's all really confusing and I don't feel like going into it, but the point is that I was faking being dead so I could surprise Voldemort. After that, well, I guess you know the rest. We fought and I won. Then I went to bed." He grinned. "Tad anticlimactic, isn't it?"

Ginny frowned, staring at him so hard that Harry was forced to look into her eyes, and for a moment he forgot himself. They were the color of melting chocolate.

"You're not telling me about Dumbledore, though. How you saw him, what happened when Voldemort k-killed you." She stumbled over the word as though 'kill' was a Taboo.

"I was in King's Cross Station, and Dumbledore was there, too," he said uncomfortably. He had hoped to leave it out completely. Somehow, seeing Dumbledore again in that place, with a shred of Voldemort's soul beneath him, had become extremely personal since he had awoken. He wanted to share everything with Ginny, but they had years now. He didn't have to tell her all of it at the moment, when it was still raw and close to him. "We, ah, talked. Yeah. Dumbledore told me about himself and what had happened, and then I came back."

Ginny's frown relaxed into an expression of contentment. He didn't doubt for a second that she knew that there was potentially important stuff he had left out of the explanation, but she was wonderful enough not to push it.

They sat in silence for a time, watching a blood red sunset cast the whole castle in crimson light. His heart clenched, remembering all that blood that had seeped out of Snape's neck and Dobby's stomach, and how little had escaped Fred, Remus, Tonks, and Colin. For a flicker of a moment, he imagined that maybe Hogwarts was bleeding for them when they could not. Were they happy where they were now? Then, he remembered seeing Lupin. Yes, they were at peace. And, after all, wherever they were had to be a lot greater than the station he had visited, which had been so nice on its own…

"You're going to have to look in on Teddy," Ginny said hollowly. "He is your godson."

Harry sighed. He hadn't given much thought to that, but he knew that he would never turn his back on the boy.

"Yeah," he said. "Yeah I… I'll do that. Don't know what I can do for him, though. I'll have to come back to finish my last year of school here, probably, so I can get a decent job. I expect his grandmother'll look after him." He choked off the last word. There it was again. That horrible aching in his chest. He had yelled at Lupin, forcing him to return to Tonks and be with his son. Now both parents were dead trying to support him in his fight.

"I'm sure he'll be a great kid," Ginny said thickly. "A really, really great kid."

Harry glanced over at Ginny and was not altogether startled to find tears tracing down her pale face, bathed in the dimming light of the sunset.

"Ginny," he said gently as he could, laying his hand on hers.

All at once, he felt Ginny throwing herself at him, her arms flung around his neck, sobbing into his shoulder. Harry took a quick breath around the lump that had risen in his throat and wrapped his arms around her, rubbing small circles in her back as she wept, murmuring "Fred. Oh, God, Fred…" He wanted to join her and cry for all the death they had seen, but he couldn't. He remembered his anger and confusion after Sirius had died, his grim determination after Dumbledore. This was sheer numbness. He wondered vaguely when it would fade.

The sunset had given way almost completely to darkness when at last Ginny stopped crying, but she remained in his lap, hugging him close. Harry locked his arms firmly around her waist, hoping the moment might last forever.

"You know," she said tremulously, wiping her pink face with one hand. "When I got on the Hogwarts Express all those years ago, I hardly imagined this was how my school career would go."

"You just had a rough first year is all," he assured her. "After all, we're both probably going to have to repeat this year at Hogwarts, and then you'll be in another year. I think we're up for something even more unusual than basilisks or dementors."

"And what might that be?"

"A quiet year at Hogwarts," Harry said, grinning. Ginny stared at him incredulously, then her face broke out in a wide smile and she began laughing. Deep, throaty, almost hysterical laughs that Harry had hardly expected to hear so soon after the battle. He wondered if something was wrong with her until, despite himself, he found himself laughing, too. Tears sprang to the corners of his eyes and a stitch formed in his side. He fell back, missing the tree and sprawling out on the lawn with Ginny on top of him, still laughing.

"It really is over, isn't it?" Ginny asked, still giggly as their strange euphoria began to wear off, replaced by a sort of satisfaction. "We can be together now. No more fear."

"No more," Harry agreed, grinning broadly up at her. Ginny leaned down to kiss him, but their lips had barely brushed when a voice called over the grounds.

"Blimey, where is he?" It was Seamus Finnigan, who seemed to have been given the ultimate job of locating the missing Harry. Harry glanced up at Ginny, who scowled at Seamus.

"That's the trouble with being in a school," she moaned. "You just can't disappear."

"Yes you can," Harry reminded her, tugging the invisibility cloak out of her pocket with a slight squeak of protest from Ginny.

"Harry," she chastised. "You're supposed to be the Chosen One, all responsible and all that. I don't think people would smile upon you hiding under an invisibility cloak snogging your girlfriend when everybody else is going to want to know where you are."

Harry felt a surge of elation at her use of the word 'girlfriend', and any trepidation he might have felt about so irresponsible an act vanished as he threw the cloak over them, vanishing into the night air.

"I've been the bloody center of attention for six years now," Harry reminded her. "Considering I just ditched school for a year to kill a dark wizard, I think they can forgive me and my girlfriend, who has spent the last five helping me, Ron, and Hermione, for doing whatever the hell we want under my invisibility cloak for a bit. If it happens to include a bit of snogging, so what?"

Smiling, Ginny leaned down and kissed Harry like there would be no tomorrow, though Harry knew there would be. There would be enough tomorrows to last a lifetime. And, as Seamus, later joined by Parvati Patil, ran up and down the grounds, calling for Harry and Ginny (who they had guessed was probably with him), Harry was glad that he could disappear without having to be alone.

~Fin~


End file.
